Another Pointless Funny
by Andross937
Summary: You asked for it, so here you go! It's pointless, it's funny! So read and review please!


Another Pointless Funny

By: Andross937

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I also do not own any of the movies or anything associated with them that I make fun of in this story. I am not making any profit off of this. I am solely doing this for entertainment.

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Shinji drove up to the drive through of the fast food Chinese restaurant. It was strange how the fast food restaurant was in the middle of a large parking lot that was as big as a large super market, surrounded by tall building all around. He had Toji and Kensuke in the car with him. They quickly placed their orders. They waited a moment for the box to respond to their orders.

"And then…?" came the voice over the speaker box.

"Uh, that's all we want for today." Shinji calmly responded.

"And then…?" the voice asked again.

"Nothing. That's all we want." Shinji said a little louder so the person would hear him.

"And then…?" came the question again.

"Look, we already gave you our order. That's all we want!" Shinji said even louder, getting annoyed.

"And then…?" the person asked again.

"Look! If you ask that again, I'm going to come in there and beat the crap out of you!" Toji yelled from the passenger seat.

There was a long pause. For a moment they listened closely to catch any response that may come from the speaker box.

"And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! And then?! **AND THEN?!**" the box rapidly spat at them.

"**YEARGH!!!**" Toji shouted as he lunged over Shinji and tore into the speaker box.

A few moments went by as Toji tore the box to pieces. He stood as he prepared to go after the man inside the fast food restaurant. Suddenly Shinji got out of the car and motioned for Kensuke to do the same.

"Run, get out of here." Shinji said as his eyes were darting around at a rapid pace.

"Why?" Toji asked, slightly worried about his friend's mental health.

"Clones are coming." Shinji almost whispered.

"Clones?" Kensuke asked in disbelief.

Suddenly the back doors to the fast food restaurant burst open from a kick that sent them off their hinges. There in the door way stood identical Rei clones. All of them were wearing business like suites and sun glasses. Also in their ears were listening devices, much like the secret service or section 2 would have. They had a serious look on their faces as they starred hard at the Third Child.

Toji and Kensuke audibly gulped and then dashed away running. The center Rei clone cocked her head to the side as if wondering what could have caused them to suddenly flee from them. This only lasted a moment as she then returned her attention to Shinji.

For a moment they stare long and hard at each other. Each practically daring the other to make the first move. It quickly grew so silent that the breeze was almost deafening to all four of them. Suddenly the camera backs up to see Mr. Bean wondering through the large parking lot at the bottom of the screen.

Suddenly they launched themselves into combat. The three Rei clones came simultaneously at Shinji. Acting with speed and reflexes that none knew he had he blocked their punches and kicks while managing to almost easily land attacks against them. In a matter of seconds he had taken one of the Rei clones down with a hard kick to the stomach.

Soon after another Rei clone went down with a punch to the side of the head. Then Shinji grabbed the last Rei clone by the jacket. Swinging her around with incredible ease and speed he released her. Then time itself seemed to slow down so that we could see Shinji's movements at the incredible and inhuman speed he was using. He landed a kick in the Rei clone's side, sending her flying away with a short lived scream as she smashed through the wall of the fast food restaurant.

Shinji took a moment to breath a sigh of relief at this. He had defeated all three of them in less then a minute. Suddenly a shiver ran up his spine. He quickly cast his head around the parking lot, looking for any sign of additional danger.

"Spider sense tingling." he said in a somewhat stupid tone of voice.

Suddenly the parking lot began to fill with Rei clones dashing in through the various entrances. Soon just over one hundred twenty-five had surrounded Shinji in a full circle. He knew this was not good.

(using Yoda voice) "Begun, the clone war has." he said loudly.

Suddenly Shinji ran to a metal street sign pole sticking out of the ground for no reason. Tugging on it hard, it slid out of the ground, almost as if it were Excalibur and he were King Arthur. Wielding it now he stood against the many Rei clones that all starred at him with the same cold emotionless look.

Suddenly they began to charge in. He swung the pole with ease and was quickly beating them off of him. Then he planted the pole into the ground again and began to spin around it, running along the faces of the Rei clones, kicking them away. They kept coming while he kept spinning. This went on for some time until he had to resort to swinging the pole again.

Suddenly the sound of an engine roaring above them was heard. Asuka came revving off of a building top on a motorcycle. She flipped off of it and landed neatly close to Shinji, while the bike smashed into the fast food restaurant. The exaggerated explosion blew the entire building to pieces, and Shinji's car too. Also the fires of the explosion burned and killed at least a dozen Rei clones.

Asuka stood from her crouched position she had landed in. She wore a red helmet and her read plug suite. Whipping off her helmet, she quickly let her hair fall into place behind her back. Then she began to bash the Rei clones with her helmet while kicking at others and punching yet others.

"Well Shinji, I never thought you would have to beat off the girls with a stick." Asuka casually called out as she threw her helmet into the face of another Rei clone.

"Really funny Asuka." Shinji groans as he continues to beat the Rei clones with the pole, while off in the back ground it is possible to make out the Chiquita lady dancing away in the background.

Suddenly the sound of beating hooves can be heard in the background. The camera quickly focuses on the source witch is entering the battle ground.

"**WILLIAM!!!!!!**" Fuyitsuki shouts as he charges through on horse back, holding out a lance that is lashed to his arm. Charging through he takes out at least twenty to thirty Rei clones that were in his path before he disappears again out another exit.

If that wasn't enough weird action going on, suddenly Kaji comes swinging through the scene hanging from a rope that is tied to nothing, yet not falling, wielding a large guitar.

"El Ka**BONG!!!**" he shouts as he takes out all the Rei clones in his path, then smashes magnificently against a wall.

Thanks to these weird things going on, it is only a few more minutes before Shinji and Asuka have cleared up all the remaining Rei clones. Suddenly all the clones turned into LCL right on the spot. This however, didn't seem to bother Shinji or Asuka.

Shinji, having seen too many movies, and having too much adrenaline in his blood, crouches and then jumps into the air. This closely resembled Neo flying away from the scene, until Shinji came crashing back down onto the ground.

The camera goes to see the dark figure of Gendo Ikari watching from a building top nearby. He is dressed in a outfit that is a clear rip off of Magneto from the X-Men movies. Helmet and all.

"When will these people learn to fly?" he asks with a grin.

With that he goes to jump off the building, as if to fly away. However, at the last moment he remembered that he forgot his fairy dust and he has no happy thoughts. With that last realization in his head, he falls several stories to the ground beneath. This all goes unnoticed.

Shinji stands quickly, then sees a rope hanging from the side of a building wall nearby. He runs to it, runs up the wall for a second, then hangs from the rope upside down. Asuka, taking the queue walks over and they begin to kiss with him upside down. Rain pours out of no where.

Suddenly a flash comes out of no where and catches their attention. It distracts them so much that Shinji falls from the rope, banging his head. Also, the rain suddenly stops again. The camera suddenly shoes somewhere far away, Misato playing with the switches for the different weather conditions.

The bright flash turns into a old looking car with a supped up look to it. Ritsuko jumps out of it and runs quickly to them.

"Doc, what are you doing here?" Shinji asks as he rubs his neck.

"Shinji, Asuka, you guys have to come back with me!" Ritsuko shouts excitedly.

"Back… back where?" Asuka asks.

"Back to the future! Now get in the car!" she yells as she shoves them in the car.

"Why, do we grow up to be idiots or something?" Shinji asks, thoroughly confused.

"NO! It's your kids Shinji. It's you kids we got to do something about!" Ritsuko yells.

"**KIDS!!!**" Asuka shouts.

"Alright, let's go then!" Shinji declares.

The car begins to fly upwards, then suddenly Gigantic spiders come out of no where and jump on the car, though no one notices this. They swarm over the parking lot, trying to get to the car. The car suddenly makes the jump through time, and the after shock fries all the spiders, killing them before they even became a real threat.

After the car disappears, the camera goes to a building top where a lone figure stands. There, stands the real Rei Ayanami. A strange and wicked grin is present on her face as she stares at all the pools of LCL that is left of her clones.

"I am Rei Ayanami, and I will be the one!"


End file.
